Parenting
The Sounds of Night for iPad on the iTunes App Store
The Sounds of Night for iPad on the iTunes App Store.
My family downloaded this app for the first time last week. My four and six year old sons were home with me at the time. We read through the story with them enraptured the entire time (not something that usually happens with these boys!). When we were finished, they asked to read it again. Then again.
Later that night, my eight year old son began having night terrors. I told him about the app and asked if he would like to try reading through it with me. As we read through the story, he began to calm down. By the end of the story, he was calm enough to utter a few sounds, but still could not even speak. I began reading the Bible verses to him from the last screen. I asked him if he wanted to read them with me, but he was still too scared to talk. As I read the verses over and over, he began mumbling the words along with me until he was finally calm enough to read them aloud.
He picked his favorite of the four verses and repeated it to himself over and over until he was able to go to sleep. I am so grateful for this app, and for God leading me to find it on the exact night we would need it.
Whether you are looking for a great bedtime story, an app that your pre-readers can interact with, or something to help your children with their fears, this is a great choice.
Thoughts on Life from an Older Perspective
Recently I have been pondering my parenting as well as the parenting that I received. I hope you will enjoy my perspective on life.
Radio Silence Has Ended
I look back over my posts and wonder how the time could have passed so quickly. How has it been over a year since I have last recorded a mission? How have I not been here, the place where I planned to record each mission that our family explored. Each odyssey that we began?
But then I think back over the past year, and I recall the journey. Selah‘s “The Broken Road” leaps into my mind. How has time changed so much from last year to this? How has everything changed? Nothing that was then seems to be now. Our odyssey has continued, but my words disappeared.
For a wordy Southern girl who was dubbed as being able to “talk the horns off a billy-goat” at the mere age of two by her babysitter Mrs. Dalrymple, this girl was completely silenced by the hand of God. I had planned to talk about it on my professional blog, but the words would never come. I have been brought to the place where I have learned that there is a sacred space between work and home, private and public. And I have learned that they overlap in ways that I had tried to separate. Perhaps some issues with my children are more public than I want them to be, and some issues with myself should really be more private.
In the space of eighteen months, I have traveled the road of Psalm 46:10. I have learned to be still. But even more, I have learned to know God. Not just that He is, but truly who He is. Yes, some of us take a little longer than others for things to sink in. I fully admit that I have always been a late bloomer, but I also know that a late bloomer is better than a vine with no blooms at all.
During this time, I had not been commanded to be quiet, yet I had not been able to find any words to speak. My well had gone completely dry. I sat. I listened. I felt a bit like Elijah during the drought after his creek went dry. There was simply nothing there. I knew that He had told me to write, but He gave me no topics, no words. I knew He had appeared, but the words had vanished. Fear surrounded me. Doubt plagued me. How could I be a writer when there were no words, no message, no audience.
I learned that I had an audience of One. He was the One I needed to talk to. He was the One I needed to fall in love with. His voice was the One I needed to hear. Not the voice of strangers who clicked a “like” button on my page, but only Him.
As recently as five days ago, I had nothing to say. I sat with a friend talking about God’s calling on my life, and we both questioned what He wanted me to say. I still felt I had nothing to offer. It was all about me and what I understood. I sat down daily and tried to write. I searched for words. I found emptiness. I felt God tell me that I would begin writing today, and I was terrified. How would I suddenly be able to write when the well had been dry for months.
But this past weekend, I was refueled. God led me to a mountaintop and put my feet on holy ground. He surrounded me with His presence, and then He sent me home.
And He sent me with words.
The words that had eluded me for months consumed me. The thoughts I needed to communicate flew through my fingers more quickly than my eyes could keep up. I soon found myself typing with my eyes closed, reflecting back to when my mother had taught me to type more than 25 years ago. Not looking for hints, not reviewing my errors. Just finding my rhythm and going. Not worrying about mistakes, errors or word counts. Just going with the flow, hearing the click of the keys and sending words out faster than my mind imagined possible.
Today the words have not stopped. I have written for hours, and still the words flow. I have saved many of my thoughts for other days, but still the words continue from my heart.
How can I share all that God has blessed me with?
How I can I be the woman who He created me to be?
Can I be an example to others who have experienced what I have, and can I safeguard others from going where I have gone?
I do not have the answers, but He does. As He leads, I will write. As He stops, I will stop. I do not have a platform, a genre, a following. But I have an audience, an audience of One, and I have the life that He has given to me. I will let my Captain pilot this journey, and I will sit in the copilot’s chair. Learning from Him, putting my hands on the controls as He leads me to, but knowing that I cannot take the controls away from Him. As long as I do this, my odyssey will be one of a lifetime and I will be filled beyond measure.
Like A Warm Cup of Coffee » Blog Archive » Flirty Aprons GIVEAWAY! So feminine!
Remember when I blogged about aprons a few months ago? Here is a fabulous site for more fabulous aprons. Can’t wait to get one for myself.
Like A Warm Cup of Coffee » Blog Archive » Flirty Aprons GIVEAWAY! So feminine!.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Baby Steps
Wow, have I really managed to go this long without posting? While I might say that I am surprised by this, I actually am not. I have not had the words to convey what is really on my heart. Over the past few months, I’ve learned a lot more about myself and about my family. The biggest thing that has come to light is that I am actually a private person. Between my chattiness, and the fact that I write multiple blogs, most people think that I am a very open person. But in reality, I am shy and private. With rare exception, I only let people see a small surface of what is actually going on in my life.
Lately, I’ve felt called to be more open about myself and my world. I’ve struggled with it greatly. I find that the people I admire the most are the ones who are willing to just put it all out there, admit that they are a mess, and be real about it. But I cannot seem to let myself do that. Today I’m going to try to take some baby steps toward being a little more open.
Step #1: Talk about what is going on with my boys.
And herein lies the reason why I haven’t posted. Late in the summer, we got confirmation of what I have suspected for some time. All three boys have some significant learning and developmental concerns. Last spring, a friend of mine recommended that I take the boys to see a doctor that she had been using with her son with great results. Since mid-summer, we have been going through a battery of tests on each one of the boys. In a way, it was more overwhelming for me than it was for them. I’ve seen the big picture of what these delays can mean; but to them, it’s just a chance to get more one-on-one playtime with an adult. I’ve worked hard to make sure that they feel this way about it. I don’t want them to feel as if they are any different from anyone else, or that they have issues that might give them an excuse not to try things that are difficult.
But when I face the difficulty of posting about it, I suddenly shut down. The mother in me wants to protect them for as long as I can. I don’t want to talk about the problems that they are facing and have anyone else judge them. But I realize that this is not going to make this issues go away, and it definitely is not going to get me any support in facing it. Still I find myself at a loss for words when I try to sit down and actually discuss it. I read blogs by my friends Trista at All About Austin or Ladonna at Brain Trains, and I wonder how they get through. Our issues are so much smaller, but yet I just can’t put myself out there.
So today, I took a moment to read their latest posts again, and it gave me a little strength to go on. Gio has been struggling with severe (way off the charts!) ADHD for some time now. Over the past three years, we have tried diet modifications with some success, but it was still not enough. Since mid-summer, he has been on four different drugs for ADHD. This was something that I said I would never do, but when he finally came up to me and asked if he could please have some medicine like his friend (son of the mom who referred us), I couldn’t tell him no. Each time, we think we have some success, then after a couple of months, we cannot see much difference. He is also really struggling with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and SPD (Sensory Perception Dysfunction).
Even as I write these terms, my heart breaks. I have always been so adamant that I did not want labels to define my children. They are the special beings that God created and He knew exactly what they would be. At the same time, I cannot ignore or dismiss that for some special beings, more attention and care is needed.
It is a little like plants, isn’t it. There are some things that grow with very little care or attention like the daffodils that I love. They are common and average. You put them in the ground and they just do their thing. They are there for a while, and then they come back the next year, never needing much attention and always doing exactly what you expect of them. Then there are plants like roses. Yes, you put them in the ground, and they grow, but they need a lot of attention to become the beautiful plants that they need to be. They are constantly needing pruning so that they do not go out of line, and you must wear gloves to protect from the thorns that they protect themselves with. So, I guess that perhaps my little darlings are a rose garden in it’s early stages.
Anyways, I digress. Gio is finally settling into his medication for ADHD and will be starting to see a play therapist at the end of the month. We are praying that together, we will be able to help him work through his frustrations and manage to keep a few of his “thorns” at bay.
At the same time that Gio was going through this testing, we had started to get help for Jacob. I had been concerned about his speech for a while. At 2 1/2, he still only had about 10 words, and most of them were unintelligible. Last spring, we started a new phonics program with Gio. This was when I really saw Jake bloom. The phonics program required use of a mirror to see how words were formed. As Jake saw us doing this, he suddenly started trying it too. In a matter of weeks, his vocabulary jumped to almost 50 words. When we had him tested, we found out that he had some significant patterning issues, but even more surprising was that he was over 13 months delayed developmentally. I had not even realized that there was anything else going on with him. He has been through several months of both speech and occupational therapy now. His speech is significantly more understandable, even by people outside of our immediate family. Since he turned three last month, his therapy has temporarily stopped. Services were rolled over to the school system who does not believe that his delays will cause him problems in school any longer, so we are having to transition to a different path for him. I still do not know what that path is going to be.
And then there is darling DJ, my little enigma. His testing has definitely come last and with the biggest surprises. He is so friendly and outgoing that no one besides me even considered that he had any issues. I’ve struggled since he was less than a year old to get doctors to see that something was wrong. It started with his Celiac disease. After the third doctor, they finally agreed to test him, only to find out that his sensitivity was so severe that he should never touch gluten again. Not that this goes over well in a family of Italian descent. 🙂 We stilll struggle on a daily basis to find something that he will eat. But this fall gave us some of the answers as to why. Along wth the celiac disease, DJ also has severe SPD. It reflected itself so differently from Gio’s that I didn’t recogniz it as the same disorder. They are on completely opposite sides of the spectrum, yet treatment is amazingly similar. Whereas Gio has no sensory input and is constantly seeking it, DJ has so much that it overwhelms him. Even something as simple as an egg cooked incorrectly sends him into complete overload. After two months of evaluations, we finally have a plan in place to help him at least a little bit. Yesterday, he finished his first therapy session. We are also having to do intense at home therapy which I struggle with. I know the therapy will be great for him, but I just keep forgetting to work it into the schedule. Each day gets a little better.
Step #2: Know when to take a break
This is a huge step for me. I don’t slow down for anything until I crash. I’m discovering that while I knew this was a bad thing while driving, that perhaps it’s not such a great thing in life either. We’re slowing down and taking it a little easier this next year. We are going to focus on simplicity and just doing one thing at a time. And so with that, I am going to take a break as well.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Filling in the Blanks
So much has been going on in our world lately that I hardly know where to begin. School officially started back on August 25, but here we are over three weeks later and we are still in the first week of the curriculum. We got slammed with the absolute worst rounds of flu bugs that I’ve ever seen. The first one started two nights before school was scheduled to start. One person after another was either having stomach bug issues or severe headaches and fevers. The boys even began describing it as their brain hurting. All-in-all, it lasted about 15 days of someone being sick every single day. As soon as we got through that, doctors appointments, dentist appointments and physical therapy started up. Along with some really difficult attitudes.
What I have avoided mentioning to this point, is that we finally had all three boys evaluated this summer. I’ve really struggled with this for a long time. I have gotten so many conflicting opinions from different people who interact with the boys that I just wasn’t sure what to do. Finally, Greg & I decided that it would not do any harm to have them evaluated. If there was no problem, then we were just being cautious, but if there was truly an issue, then it was time to address it.
That decision was one of the best ones that we have made as parents. Gio’s evaluation was first. He was immediately diagnosed with off-the-charts ADHD with some other underlying issues possible as well. Dr. B started him on a very low dose (low enough that the pharmacy didn’t even carry it) of Vyvanse, and we could see a marked difference. From day one, he no longer jumped all over the furniture, bounding from one piece to another, or had a need to be at full speed all the time. He could finally enjoy activities that required sitting, and could concentrate when other people are in the room. We are still having some incredible issues with defiance that we are having to work on, but this is one step in the right direction.
DJ also came back with a potential diagnosis of ADHD with other learning issues involved. We have been struggling to get an appointment for him with the right people at the moment because so many of them are focusing on incoming kindergarteners in public schools. Jacob’s evaluators have given us additional resources to check into for DJ. A lot of terms are being thrown around at the moment, but I’m hesitant to even write them or speak them out loud even though I’ve heard them in reference to him most of his life. We will continue to see what happens with this.
Jacob was the biggest surprise for me. I knew that he had some speech issues, but everything else seemed perfectly normal to me. He is very social, loves to take care of things, and is incredibly independent. After the first evaluators came in, we had a second group of evaluators come in to look at him again. The first reports came back that he was borderline to delayed in almost every area of development except for speech. This was shocking on so many levels, especially that they thought his speech was fine, but I pressed them a little more and they agreed to go ahead and have a speech therapist evaluate him anyway.
The consensus so far is that he is delayed both physically and verbally by a little over a year. The second evaluator told me that based on just reading the reports, she was prepared to give a diagnosis of autism, but after interacting with him, she believes that his social skills are too good for that diagnosis. He does have several significant issues that are not only delays, but atypical brain development which we are now working on.
He has started receiving an hour each of speech and occupational therapy every week. We will continue on this path at least until November when he turns three. At that point, he will transition into the preschool development program. He will still be able to have all of his therapy at home and not attend a school setting at this point, but his care will be taken over by the school system instead of the state.
A part of me is relieved that finally someone else is recognizing what I have been seeing all along, but there are parts of me that still feel like I did not advocate for them as much as I could have earlier on. The one continuing encouragement has been that each of the evaluators has been very pleased with our decision to homeschool. They have told me that this one-on-one attention will be one of the best things that I can do for their increased development. Please be praying with us as we continue pursuing their care paths.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )My Grown Up Christmas Wish
Yes, I’ve been spending most of my bloggy time at my other place. Stop in today to see what I’m writing.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Simply Being Mommy
Summer is officially here in our house. Which means…. mommy gets to sleep in and surf the internet! Of course, there will be a lot of other fun things going on too, like the trip to the animal farm yesterday where mommy managed not to bring her camera yet again. Perhaps one of these days I will remember to bring it so that I can share these experiences with you as well, but in the meantime, enjoy this giveaway site.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Apron Evangelism | Hillbilly Housewife
My friend Gina cross-posted this article on her blog today and I just had to share it with you. Keep in mind that for some odd reason I’ve been considering starting to wear an apron. Yes, I’m getting a little concerned about my incredibly more domestic habits too. Next thing you know, I might actually start cleaning my house!
Enjoy the article while I browse my fabric collection for a new apron.
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One day not too long ago I was struggling with the boys over some minor details which come up when a lot of people live in a small shack in the woods. Details like the value of picking one’s dirty clothes up off of the living room floor when company has been spotted driving up the mountain. The boys were unusually stubborn that particular day. Rather than fight with them over their household responsibilities I picked up the dirty clothes myself and crammed them into the washing machine. I ran some soapy water in the sink to get a start on the dishes before the company arrived.
Now usually I am not one to hold a grudge over small disagreements like laundry on the living room floor. This one settled in my brain though, and I felt compelled to mull over it for several days. It was the outright insubordination which offended me the most. After I figured that out I went in search of solutions.
About the same time I was in the process of Spring Cleaning. I was having a great deal of trouble motivating myself to wash the walls in the kitchen and mop the back porch where the cats live (blessedly with a doggie door so they don’t need litter boxes).
Well, the more I worried about these twin dilemmas the more I felt the need to discuss them with the queen of solutions, my momma Darthulia. As I suspected she had the perfect solution. Darthulia told me I needed a uniform or costume which would reassure myself and others of my intention and status in the home. She claimed it would remind me of my duties, inspire me to greater levels of cleanliness (which as a hillbilly I sorely need), and reaffirm my authority in the home.
Darthulia then went on to describe the homemaker’s uniform to me in detail. “Imagine the modern archetype of the housewife.” She began. “Think Donna Reed, or Beaver Cleaver’s mom. They wore full skirts, and stockings, and heels when they vacuumed. But you knew they were doing housework because they had their aprons on. A string of beads graced the necks of their classic shirtwaist dresses, and a lacy bibbed apron proclaimed their role as matriarch in charge of household management.”
I only have a fleeting memory of Donna Reed. I sort of wish she came on television regularly so I could take notes but she doesn’t in my area so I am stuck looking for other heroines-of-the-home to model myself after. Most of what momma said made sense to me though. That very day, I put on a full skirt, stockings, sensibly low high heeled shoes, and a string of pearly white beads. Then I sat down at my sewing machine and ran up a couple of bibbed aprons, decorated with lace and ribbons.
I made up the pattern as I went along using a small rectangle for the first bib and a heart shape for the second bib. Then I stitched lace around the edges of the bib and attatched it to a simple tie with a full apron skirt gathered to the waist. I made them short waisted so they would fit my maternal figure a bit better, and voila, I was set. I put the first apron on, a creamy white or ecru, and looked in the mirror to admire my handiwork. I expected to see myself staring back at me, probably looking a little silly in this frilly piece of confection designed to protect my clothing.
Boy howdy, was I in for a surprise. In the mirror I saw a vision of the homemaker I have always strived to become staring back at me. Her cheery face glistened in the sunshine. Her hair tied up neatly in bun looked authoritative, and compassionate all at the same time. The apron covered several figure flaws and accentuated the fertile curves of the woman I saw in the mirror. This woman had purpose. She had status. She had clout. I stood there, contemplating the wonder of the homemaker that shone through my image in the mirror. “This is who I want to be” I told myself. “This is the Keeper of the home, with a capital ‘K’. ”
I wear my aprons every day now. I have made more, in different colors and configurations so as to be pleasing to my senses. I have come to believe they are a like lacy bits of lingerie, only worn on the outside, and a quite a bit more respectable. When I put on my aprons the children mind me better, wandering visitors immediately know my role as a stay at home mom. Door to door religious missionaries assume I am a virtuous woman and cheerfully move on to the next house. Fred thinks I look cute as a button, and neighbor children hug me more often.
I like my aprons. They have changed my life, raising my standards, inspiring me to greater feats of home making skill, and making me more effective as a parent. Whoever thought that a dollars worth of fabric and lace could effect so many changes on one woman and one family? Since my success with aprons I have become a true believer. I am now called to spread the word among my fellow housewives. Join the crusade by sharing your love of aprons with friends, family and internet buddies around the world. Together we will change the face of the House Wife, the world over.
Blessings,
–Maggie (The original Hillbilly Housewife)
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Kindness of Strangers
Yesterday was a bit of a strange day. We had our first session of Homeschool Gym & Swim at YMCA. The boys had a great time, and participated well. I got to meet some wonderful new moms and actually have some adult conversation.
But as we were walking up the stairs to leave, Jake somehow tripped and managed to hit the side of his head on the corner of a table. I didn’t think anything of it at first until the mom on the other side of him mentioned that it was bleeding. Next thing I know, there was blood everywhere. Fortunately, we were just finishing swim lessons and had wet towels. We applied the wet towels to his head still thinking that it wouldn’t be a big deal, until we moved the towels away and saw his head split open just beside his eye, looking a little like a pair of lips on the side of his face.
We realized at this point that he was definitely going to need medical attention and quite possibly stitches. The mom that noticed the blood offered to take my boys home with her while I took Jake to urgent care. This was amazing considering that we had just met less than two hours earlier at the beginning of class. We had discovered that they only lived about five minutes from our house. What a tremendous blessing, and what an amazing God we have.
From there, the kindness just kept growing. Someone quickly called our pediatrician to see if we could get Jacob in there instead of taking him to urgent care because it is the middle of flu season, glad they thought of that because it would have never crossed my mind. Then to add to it, the assistant director offered to ride with us to make sure that Jake stayed awake while their swim instructor followed behind to give him a ride back to work.
I am still humbled to have so many people offer their generosity to us. To all who helped, thank you again for your care over our family.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 2 so far )« Previous Entries
Odyssey of a Lifetime 
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